Tell me if you have ever heard these words: "You would be so pretty if." Well, I have heard these words more times then I can count. "You would be so pretty if you would just lose some weight!" "You would be so pretty if you weren't so loud!" "You would be so pretty if you were smaller!" I mean the list goes on and on and you know what? When I was young I used to believe all of this garbage that was dumped on me. Young girls are impressionable and I have spent 29 years trying to figure out the first 18 years of my life. Do you realize how much baggage we carry around with us from our childhoods? So many people go to therapy and have to work through the damage that was done to them during the first 18 years of life by well-meaning parents, friends, teachers, & coaches who had no idea their words would leave lasting scars.
I remember one time a friend of mine told me that her mom said "You would be one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen if you would just lose 15 lbs." Are you freaking kidding me? 15 lbs? I would love to only need to lose 15 pounds now but back then you could have said 150 pounds and I think it would have felt the same. All I know is that I was not good enough and I had to change something to be better. To be acceptable. No wonder I walked around with no confidence and I was a follower, a people pleaser, and just wanted to fit in.
A lot of these characteristics still follow me around to this day. But..... Let me tell you something I have learned that I hope will help you. I worked 10 years behind the chair as a hair stylist. I spent time with some of the most beautiful women in the world who would sit and complain about how ugly they felt, wrinkles, thinning hair, acne, weight, depression, stress of motherhood, not feeling worthy, and on and on. What I learned is that EVERYONE has their thing. A lot of people who are handing out the judgement are very insecure. They have secret insecurities that if you hit on them would leave them devastated. The reason I tell you this is to give you confidence that you have to be secure in who you are, own who you are, and be who you are!!! Being you is 100% your superpower. It is the only thing you have going for you that no one can take away. Sure....they can try to copy you! But, they can't BE you.
Sis, I am here to tell you that you are pretty right now just the way you are. Do not put off enjoying life until you have boxes checked that in reality may never be checked. You know the old..... "I will do it when I lose weight, I will do it when I have more money, I will do it when I finish college, I will do it when my life is perfect." There is no better time to follow your dreams and live your life to the fullest than right now. There is no magic number on a scale or amount in your bank account that is going to make you feel more worthy. That feeling comes from within. It's all about your mindset and how you feel from the inside out.
One of my passions is helping women find their confidence though clothing, makeup, hair and community. My hope is that you will look at me out here living my life, running my business, and holding it all together by a thread even though I am not a posterchild for perfection. I hope that you can find beauty in my imperfections and that it will give you permission to embrace who you are just like I have learned to embrace myself right here right now. If I can be and do the things I am doing...then believe me when I say, that you can be and do everything that you dream of. My hope for you today, reading this, is that you will let go of all that negative self-talk and get out there and kick some ass! Get up, dress up, boss up and take your place in the world!
Until next time..... xoxo